Everybody Fights So Why Not Get Better at It by Kim Holderness

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Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better at It by Kim Holderness

Author: Kim Holderness

Have you ever gotten in a bra fight? (No, not a bar fight, a bra fight.) Kim and Penn Holderness have―a knock down, bruised-heart, lick-your-wounds brawl that started off with a perfectly harmless question about chicken wings. Every couple has these fights, the kind that go from zero to dialing a divorce lawyer before you know what hit you. They leave you feeling cold, resentful, and terribly alone. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

The Holdernesses that are seen on social media are goofy, funny, and joyous, which has earned them the adoration of millions of fans. But when they started noticing comments on their videos that said things like “You are the perfect couple” or “#couplegoals,” they thought, “Who us? These people want to be more like us?” So, they decided it was time to stop being polite and start getting real about what really goes on with any couple who seems to have it together.

With their trademark sense of humor and complete vulnerability, Penn and Kim share their ten most common Fight Fails and how to combat them, with additional guidance from Pastor Chris Edmonston on ways they can improve and change to solve issues. At the end of each chapter, the Holdernesses give couples a script for how to start, continue, and wrap up hard conversations. Couples will close the book equipped to engage and understand, not do battle. And maybe laugh a little more along the way.

In Everybody Fights, couples will learn how to:

Conjure the magic of meta-communication

Break free of secret contracts

Run a P&L (prayer and laughter) analysis on your marriage

Banish the three D’s (distraction, denial, delay)

Carry your own baggage and help your partner with theirs

Penn and Kim want people to know they’re not alone―that marriage is messy. Marriage is work. But marriage is worth it. Fight for it.

[highlight color=”green”]Goodreads users review :[/highlight]

I’ll be honest: I didn’t expect this book to be that good. I like The Holderness Family on YouTube so I got the book from the library and expected to do a quick skim. I wound up reading every word. It’s an excellent, extremely practical, research-based (and funny) book about communication in marriage. Penn has ADHD and Kim has anxiety and depression so grace for each other and expressing needs is a big part of it. Their credited cowriter is their pastor/marriage counselor. They use a lot of real-life examples from both perspectives, so there are great insights on both sides. It’s a unique and really great marriage book; I’m happy to recommend it! Sarah Wolfe                                                                                            rated it: 5.0 from 5.0

This book was awesome! I’m not a nonfiction reader but I love this couple and the idea that fighting BETTER and not trying to not fight was interesting, since, let’s face it – in relationships we are going to fight. I found it super easy to read with ideas that are easy – however, take time and work to make things better over time. A great read for anyone in a relationship that would like to communicate and understand their partner better ❤️ Jodi                                                                                                        rated it: 5.0 from 5.0

Maybe my favorite marriage book I’ve read in a long time. It has lots of practical tips, scientific studies, real life scenarios, and humor. It’s a book I would recommend to any couple, and one I will be going back to, to highlight and refresh my memory. Keilah Miller                                                                                            rated it: 5.0 from 5.0